


Nothing More, Nothing Less

by ariesxdraco



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Porn With Plot, Smut, XiuChen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 11:18:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18755401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariesxdraco/pseuds/ariesxdraco
Summary: One drunken night. That's all it took for their relationship to go downhill.





	Nothing More, Nothing Less

They met during their 5th grade. Minseok being the shy, new transfer student and Jongdae being the loud, overly friendly student who immediately took a liking on the boy. They quickly became friends despite their one year age difference, Minseok not minding Jongdae's extroverted self while the latter brings out Minseok's own silliness. 

They were a perfect match.

Which was why their friends usually tease them with regards their relationship status. Whether they were still friends or already more than that. Minseok and Jongdae just shrug them off, Jongdae usually jokingly telling them to fuck off and mind their own business because they're nothing but best friends and they're a bunch of lunatics to think otherwise.

Little did he know that Minseok wished that their friends were right. That they're more than just best friends. But of course, he couldn't tell Jongdae that. They're mates, buddies, best friends, brothers. Nothing more, nothing less.

Minseok ended up hiding his feelings from Jongdae. From anyone for that matter. 

This, however, resulted to a great amount of heartbreaks because the love of his life dated other people and being the best friend, he always had to meet Jongdae's boyfriends. Apparently, his opinion matters to the lad.

You must be thinking that he's such a martyr for still holding on to Jongdae and well, you are not mistaken. Kim Minseok is one brave masochist.

He endured everything. From the pain of seeing his first love be with other people to the anger and irritation he feels whenever Jongdae gets his heart broken by worthless pricks and yet the man would still be with yet another good for nothing arsehole who doesn't deserve him after a few months.

He stayed silent through all that. He lent his ears when Jongdae needs someone to confide to and he offered his shoulder when Jongdae needs someone to cry on. He did what he has to do. Just like the good and ever reliable best friend that he is.

\--

Minseok was flipping through the channels trying to find something interesting enough to watch–or rather play in the background while he types mindlessly in his laptop—when his phone vibrated beside him signaling a new message.

He settled for some variety show and grabbed his phone, unlocking it to see Jongdae's message.

¬ daedae ¬

hey, you home yet?

¬ seokkie ¬

yep. you wanna come over?

¬ daedae ¬

i'll bring soju

Minseok raised an eyebrow as soon as he read Jongdae's reply. What could be the problem now? Though confused and worried, he locked his phone without replying and pushed himself off the couch to check if he has chips left in his pantry.

\--

After half an hour, knocks sounded through Minseok's small apartment. He stood up and quickly walked towards the door to open it, revealing a disheveled Jongdae. And no, not the "i just had sex" disheveled.

"Dae, you look like crap," Minseok blurted out in disbelief. He never saw Jongdae like this.

Jongdae chuckled weakly and went inside the flat, removing his shoes then heading straight to the living room to take out the bottles and cans of beer and soju, laying them down on the coffee table in front.

Minseok furrowed his eyebrows, now even more concerned for his best friend. He sat down besides the other man on the floor and watched him as Jongdae opened one can of beer, immediately chugging almost half of it in one go.

That surprised Minseok. Jongdae doesn’t like to drink that much except when the occasion calls for it. What exactly is happening?

"Woah there. Can you please tell me what happened? Why are we drinking and why do you look like you've been hit by a truck?" Minseok questioned, frown adorning his face.

Jongdae glanced at him then turned his gaze at the muted television in front of them. Fingers tapping at the side of the beer can, a bitter chuckle went past his lips.

"We broke up," he said as casual as he could but Minseok could hear the lad's voice shake. As if he's on the verge of crying.

Minseok could only sigh. Of course. After two whole years of not seeing his best friend, his love, cry over some guy. What he hates the most has happened once again.

"I thought he was the one, hyung. I mean, he was the longest relationship I had and we were serious about each other," Jongdae continued as Minseok stayed silent, still testing the waters. Whether it's already the right time to comfort the other or let him speak first.

Jongdae brought the can to his lips and drank the rest of the beer, putting the empty can on the table then opening a new one.

"He broke up with me over dinner. I decided to treat him as a celebration because he got promoted at his work but he just had to end it with me during that time. He should've told me early on, before the dinner. But no, he had to finish his food first. He had to let me pay first," Jongdae paused his rant and drank. He let out a humourless laugh and continued, "God, the audacity of that cheapskate."

Minseok frowned and shook his head but he still kept quiet, only reaching out to get his own can of beer.

"I should've listened to you when you told me that you think he's a cheapskate. Because you're right, hyung. I have a feeling that he stayed with me for two years just to leech off of me," Jongdae said half-jokingly.

Minseok laughed lightly and stared at Jongdae. His heart clenching by hearing and seeing the man he loves be like that just because some people couldn't learn to appreciate him.

"Yeah, well. At least, you're already rid of him," Minseok stated as a matter of fact.

Jongdae nodded and chuckled softly, "That's a relief, I guess?" the younger let a small smile grace his lips before clearing his throat and turning to look at Minseok.

"Anyway, enough with my stupid love life. What have you been up to? We haven't seen each other for almost a month!" Jongdae exclaimed, disbelief evident in his voice due to his realization.

Minseok shrugs and took a drink. It was rare for them to not hang out for that long. They have made a promise after they graduated from college that they would at least meet up once a week. They held their promise until Jongdae just suddenly got too busy with his now ex-boyfriend that their meetings turned to every other week until it just became almost non-existent. They still message each other though.

"You were busy, I was busy as well. I guess, life just decided to be a bitch," Minseok answered.

"That never stopped us before though," Jongdae remarked, staring intently at him.

Minseok met the younger's gaze and just held it for a moment. His heart skipped a beat as he slowly loses himself in Jongdae's eyes but he quickly shook his head and smiled bitterly.

"Unfortunately, now it did."

He then turned his attention to the variety show playing on the television despite it being muted. He could feel Jongdae's eyes on him, analyzing him, trying to know what could possibly be off, but he stayed silent until he heard the younger man sigh and continue drinking his own beer.

\--

The hours passed by and the two men consumed the liquor. Soon enough, only a half empty bottle of soju was left. Empty cans and bottles of alcohol now litter the coffee table along with opened bags of chips here and there.

Minseok feels a little light-headed than he would have liked while Jongdae was practically all over him with the younger's arms wrapped tightly around his waist and his face nuzzled against the crook of Minseok's neck.

He could feel Jongdae's lips against his skin, giving him goosebumps. He thanked god that he wasn't totally wasted and he could still think rationally.

"Dae? Are you still awake?" Minseok weakly asked while rubbing circles on his dongsaeng's back.

He received no answer and was about to speak again when Jongdae mumbled something against his neck that he couldn't quite hear.

"What?"

"Why do they always leave, hyung?" the man slurred out as he pulled back to look at the elder.

Minseok was taken aback at the sudden question and could only look at Jongdae, not knowing how and what to answer. Jongdae groaned and dropped his head against his shoulders before speaking.

"I just-I don't understand. I give them everything and they still leave. Am I not worth it? Am I really that easy to throw away?"

Minseok frowned and sighed. He brought a hand up to caress Jongdae's nape, a habit he developed in order to comfort the lad.

"Of course not, Dae. They're just a bunch of idiots who doesn't know how precious you really are. You deserve nothing but good things in this world," Minseok muttered, his tone gentle and full of love. He silently hoped that the younger could feel that.

A quiet laugh came from Jongdae before raising his head, "You always say the nicest things about me, hyung. You only see the good in me," the man paused and gave him a small yet sweet smile, "I sometimes wish you were my boyfriend instead."

Minseok's breath hitched at his best friend's statement. He tried not to show any emotions on his face. Jongdae's drunk and the man says ridiculous stuff whenever he's intoxicated. So, Minseok lets out a nervous laugh and attempted to push Jongdae away from him but the other did not budge, only staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I've always wondered why you never had a serious relationship, Minseok hyung. With your charming attitude and attractive looks, it's a surprise that no one tried anything serious with you. Only flings and one night stands," Jongdae muttered lazily, eyes still on the elder.

Minseok clenched his jaw and kept quiet. Jongdae never pointed that out to him before and now that he did, the reason why Minseok never got into any relationship slapped him on the face. He was too in love with his best friend that he couldn't bring himself to at least try loving anyone else.

Jongdae's gaze flickered towards Minseok's lips for a second. A little too quick for the elder to notice it. Though he did saw the younger lick his lips. Perhaps he was the one staring at Jongdae's lips a little too long than necessary.

"You look kissable right now, hyung," Jongdae mumbled then laughed softly before shaking his head, as if he said something incredulous, "Who am I kidding? You always look kissable. I wonder if your lips are as soft as it looks."

Minseok took a sharp breath. Was he hearing Jongdae correctly? Did his friend just implied that he wanted to kiss him?

"You're drunk, Dae," Minseok stated, a tight smile on his face, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Minseok almost breathed in relief when Jongdae stood up though wobbling slightly once on his feet but followed him without any further comments or protests. He slung the younger's arm over his shoulders to support him while they're staggered towards Minseok's room. Jongdae's pretty much a dead weight so it was quite a struggle to put him to bed.

"Where are you going, hyung?" Jongdae questioned, his voice slurred, almost incoherent.

Minseok paused just when he was about to walk away. He felt Jongdae's hand wrapping around his wrist, the younger tugging his arm. Wordlessly asking Minseok to stay. The elder closed his eyes and tried to calm his heart. He couldn't stay. Not when he's so close to losing his control.

"Hyung," Jongdae half-whined, now slowly sitting up on the bed. His tug on Minseok's arm stronger than before.

Minseok let out a shaky breath, hesitating for a while before sitting down on the bed beside Jongdae who instantly wrapped his arms around the elder's waist, nuzzling his nose on the man's nape.

"I don't want to be alone right now," Jongdae mumbled like a kid, his lips brushing against his skin causing him to almost shudder.

Minseok hummed, covering Jongdae's hands with his own, thumb lightly rubbing the younger's knuckles, "I'm here now."

The two stayed like that for what seemed like eternity. For Minseok at least. He almost thought Jongdae already drifted off but was proven wrong when he felt feather like kisses against the side of his neck.

"Jongdae?" he called, panic lacing his voice, "What are you doing?"

However, he only got more kisses now moving to his cheek. Minseok made an attempt to remove Jongdae's hold but he turned to jelly when the man’s tongue traced his earlobe, eventually giving it a gentle tug. The arms around his waist then loosened and Minseok almost had the chance to flee but Jongdae was quicker. Before Minseok knew it, Jongdae was already sitting on his lap, taking his face in between his hands.

Their gazes met and despite the low lighting inside the room, it was enough for Minseok to see Jongdae's lust blown eyes. If that wasn't enough indication as to what was happening, he could feel the younger's erection against his stomach.

"Dae—" he was cut off by lips pressing against his own.

Minseok stayed still, eyes wide open, his heart beating too fast that it almost felt like jumping out of his chest. Even when he felt Jongdae's lips moving against his. He couldn't bring himself to kiss back. Despite the voice at the back of his head telling him to make a damn move already.

Jongdae must've realized that the elder wasn't doing anything because he pulled back and stared at Minseok with hooded eyes.

"Hyung," he breathed out.

Minseok gulped nervously and shook his head, brows furrowed, "I don't think this is right, Dae. You're drunk and—"

"And I don't care," Jongdae interrupted, his hold on Minseok's face tightened, "I need this, hyung. Please. Just for tonight," the man begged, his tone desperate.

Minseok brought his hands up to remove Jongdae's hands on his face, "You're drunk and you'll regret whatever it is you want to do in the morning," he reasoned.

"But I won't. Please, hyung, just..." Jongdae paused, closing his eyes then pressing his forehead against Minseok's, "Help me forget. Make me forget. Make me feel like I'm wanted even just for one night."

Minseok squeezed Jongdae's hands. This is too much for him.

"Dae, please. If you...if you continue this," Minseok hesitated to continue but he needed to tell Jongdae, "I might not be able to stop myself."

"Then don't," the younger responded. His tone so casual as if what they were about to do, what he was asking Minseok to do, was as simple as breathing. As if Minseok's heart is not at risk of breaking once he complies.

Minseok pulled back and let his eyes roam around Jongdae's face, not liking how vulnerable the man looked but he was admiring it at the same time. His eyes stopped at Jongdae's lips making him unconsciously lick his own.

"Minseok hyung," whispered the younger.

The said man snapped his gaze to Jongdae's eyes which are now glistened with unshed tears. The sight of Jongdae on the verge of crying triggered something inside him. Minseok abandoned all doubts or fear inside his mind and just went for it. He gently but firmly pressed his lips against Jongdae's.

He felt the younger circle his arms around his neck, his fingers carding through the hair at the back of his head. Jongdae was kissing him back with much fervor that Minseok felt light-headed. His mind now clouded with nothing but Jongdae.

After a moment, when the need for oxygen came, Jongdae was the first one to pull back. The elder almost thought the other finally came to his senses but Jongdae only took his shirt off and threw it carelessly on the floor before diving in and claiming his lips once again. Their kiss turned messy. It was all tongue and teeth. Both men desperate to taste each other. Minseok made a small noise at the back of his throat when he felt the younger grind down against his erection. His hands instinctively moving from Jongdae's hips to the younger's bottom, groping it harshly before turning his body to put Jongdae down on the mattress.

It was Minseok's turn to break off their kiss to quickly remove his own shirt. He then resorted to pressing open-mouthed kisses on Jongdae's neck. Sucking a hickey to life just near the junction of his shoulder and neck. His kisses moved down to Jongdae's chest, making sure to leave marks at every inch of skin his lips touch. Each breathy moan coming from the younger only drives him further.

Minseok pressed a kiss on one of Jongdae's nipple. The shudder that he received from the younger made him smirk. He flicked his tongue out against the already hardened nub which brought a hand to tug on his hair. Now that he knows how it was affecting Jongdae, Minseok continued with his ministrations. His mouth enveloped the young man's nipple, suckling on it while his hand played with the other.

Jongdae arched his back due to the overwhelming pleasure that the elder's actions were giving him. He could only let out small whines and pull at his hyung's hair.

Minseok pulled back and turned his attention to the other nub, abusing it as much as the other. He risked a look at Jongdae and he was instantly mesmerized.

The younger had his head tilted back slightly, his eyes shut tightly, soft moans escaping his parted lips. The light from the lamp beside the bed illuminating his sweaty skin.

As if a spell was cast upon him, Minseok released the already swollen nipple and hovered above Jongdae's figure. He did not move nor speak a word, he just let his eyes rest on the younger's clouded ones.

If this could possibly be his first and last time with Jongdae, then Minseok would cherish it. He would leave his mark on the younger. He would make sure that Jongdae would feel how much he was loved and wanted.

"You look beautiful, Dae," he spoke softly.

Jongdae stared at him, letting their eyes explore each other before only pulling him down and sealing their lips as a reply. The younger's hands trailing down Minseok's chest to his toned stomach making him feel as if his skin is on fire. The lad's nimble fingers played with the waistband of his jeans before undoing the button and pulling the zipper down.

Minseok paid no mind to what Jongdae was up to. He was too busy trying to memorize how the younger's lips feel and taste like. He tilted his head to the side to deepen their kiss, his tongue darting out to explore Jongdae's hot cavern. He could faintly taste the alcohol they consumed earlier and it reminded him of the fact that the man was drunk and he's pretty much taking advantage of it.

His train of thought was abruptly put to a stop when a warm and calloused hand wrapped around his cock, slowly jerking him off. Minseok pulled back with a hiss when the younger squeezed the base of his erection. Minseok removed Jongdae's hand from his pants and wiggled out of his remaining garments, letting him be fully naked in front of Jongdae who stared at him with half-lidded eyes.

Despite being completely out of his clothes, Minseok felt like Jongdae was stripping him off of everything just with the way the man was staring at him. As if Jongdae could see every little thing about him. His flaws, his lies, his true feelings. Everything.

Minseok licked his lips and gave Jongdae a small smile. He then leaned down and planted kisses on Jongdae's chest then to his stomach. Occassionally licking and nipping the skin. Softly muttering words of appreciation against the younger's skin, wanting to tattoo every word that he was saying as a reminder that Jongdae is loved. That Minseok loves him.

He stopped just above the waistband of Jongdae's pants. His lips barely touching the area, mouth open to let his hot breath ghost along the exposed skin. He raised his hands and calmly popped the button, pulling the zipper down with ease. He opened his eyes and glanced at Jongdae only for their gazes to meet.

Minseok looked away and pressed open mouthed kisses around the young man's navel. His hands working on pulling down Jongdae's jeans. He leaned back and quickly removed the younger's clothing, leaving him stark naked and vulnerable under Minseok.

"Are you just going to stare at me all night, hyung?" questioned Jongdae with an amused tone.

Minseok softly chuckled and shook his head. He didn't even realize that he was staring. He just couldn't help it. It was his first and probably the last time he would see the younger like this. He was trying to drink in every single detail about the man. From how his skin was free from any blemishes to the little trail of hair below his navel that leads to his private area.

"You're just too impatient, Jongdae-ah," Minseok replied, pressing their naked bodies together.

Both men gasped as their erections brushed against each other. But Minseok swore he felt like his soul was about to leave his body. His skin felt ablaze, his heart was beating erratically in his chest, his lungs felt like it was running out of air. All his locked feelings for the young man just came raining down on him and he felt too damn overwhelmed to function.

Gentle—way too gentle, almost like it wasn't there—lips pressed against the corner of his mouth, snapping him out of his momentary breakdown.

"Hyung," whispered the younger.

Minseok only smiled at Jongdae, leaning down to kiss the young man once again. It seems like he was already addicted to the man's lips. He considers Jongdae as his drug after all. His kryptonite. His destruction.

Minseok grinded down his hips, eliciting a broken moan from the younger. He continued his movements, feeling Jongdae's hold on his bicep and shoulder tighten.

He blindly reached over his bedside drawer to pull out the stuff they needed. Minseok sat up and opened the bottle of lube that he got a hold of, squeezing the contents of it on his palm.

"This would be cold," he warned the younger before running his slicked fingers on Jongdae's hole.

A hiss was heard from the younger making Minseok mumble a soft apology. He kept his eyes pinned on Jongdae's face, looking out for any signs of discomfort as he pressed one finger inside. He stopped on one knuckle when the younger's brows furrowed.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned that the man was hurt.

Jongdae nodded, "It's just...it has been a while."

Minseok nodded his head in understanding. Taking a mental note to be careful and delicate with what he was doing. The elder pushed his finger in and almost whimpered at how tight Jongdae felt. Perhaps it was because the young man was still adjusting with the sudden intrusion. Soon enough, he felt the other relax which he took as a signal to move his finger slowly in and out of the man.

When Jongdae whined for him to hurry up, he inserted another finger in. His fingers moving quickly than before. He scissored the man's hole to loosen him up for his cock later on. When Minseok felt like Jongdae's still not loose enough, he pressed three fingers in, his free hand reaching for the younger's neglected member. Pumping it along the movements of his fingers.

Minseok crooked his fingers and was rewarded by a yelp from Jongdae, a sign that he has hit the man's soft bundle of nerves inside him. He decided to tease the younger by moving his fingers quickly, hitting his prostate, then slowing down. His other hand still wrapped around Jongdae's cock, not really moving but just simply squeezing its base.

"Hyung!" Jongdae moaned out, frustration evident not only in his voice but on his face as well.

Minseok retracted his fingers, wiping it on the bed sheet before reaching for the packet of condom beside him. He tore the packaging easily, took the condom out, then slid it down his cock, groaning at how sensitive he already was.

He retrieved the bottle of lube then squeezed some of it on Jongdae's already wet hole and also on his cock just to make sure that he wouldn't hurt the younger.

Minseok leaned forward, supporting himself with one hand beside Jongdae's head while his other guided his cock around the other's entrance. He rubbed the head just against Jongdae's hole, not wanting to push in just yet.

Minseok stared at his love's lust-filled eyes and asked, "You ready?"

As soon as Jongdae nodded, Minseok leaned down and locked their lips together to distract the younger as he pressed his cock inside. Minseok felt like he could come right then and there with how tight Jongdae was despite the preparations earlier. But he reminded himself that he should make this last or he might just regret it. A moan came out from Jongdae causing Minseok to halt his movements and pull back to look at the young man’s face.

“Still want me to continue?”

Jongdae breathed out a ‘yes’ and placed a hand at the back of Minseok’s head to pull him down for a heated kiss. The elder kissed back, slowly moving his hips until he has finally bottomed out inside the younger. He stayed still for a moment, letting Jongdae adjust to his size. When the hand on his head tugged his hair and a desperate whine sounded out from the other, Minseok started grinding his hips in a painfully slow rhythm.

Minseok, despite not wanting to, left Jongdae’s lips in favor of burying his face on the man’s neck. He wrapped his arms around Jongdae’s body, pulling him close, leaving no space between their naked figures. In return, the younger hooked his legs on Minseok’s waist. The elder’s pace was still slow, almost making the other groan in impatience but when Minseok’s thrusts turned deep, Jongdae could only gasp at how good it felt. It was slow but penetrating. Almost as if they’re making love.

Minseok badly wants to mercilessly fuck Jongdae into the mattress, wants to make the younger beg for him, to make him a crying and moaning mess, wants to fuck him so hard that Jongdae would feel him for days but not tonight. Not when this is his only chance to be with the love of his life in such an intimate way. He wants to lengthen their time, his time. So he drove his hips in unhurriedly, his thrusts deep and languid, he made sure to grind his hips loving how it makes small whimpers escape Jongdae’s lips.

“Hyung,” Jongdae whined breathlessly.

Minseok gently shushed the younger by pressing kisses at the side of his face. He leaned back and held Jongdae’s hips, his grasp tight but not enough to leave bruises the next day. He moved his hips back, almost taking his cock out the younger only to snap back making Jongdae moan loudly. He repeated this action until Jongdae has his head tilted back and his hands are clenching the sheets.

Growing impatient, Minseok grab Jongdae’s legs, raising it as he leaned forward. His thrusts quickened and with the angle changed, he drove in deeper and soon enough, he found the young man’s sensitive spot.

“Minseok!” Jongdae shouted, one of his hands coming up to hold the elder’s arm.

Minseok kept his rhythm, focused on hitting the other’s prostate dead on. He kept his eyes pinned on Jongdae’s face, drinking in the younger’s expression, reveling on the fact that the man was under him, moaning and almost crying because of his actions. He’s waited for this for god knows how long. Though, he did not imagine that it would happen during the circumstances they’re in but that’s enough for Minseok. Having Jongdae all to himself like this even just for a night is enough for him.

“Hyung…I-I can’t…I need to…”

Knowing what the younger was talking about, he let go of Jongdae’s legs and wrapped his hand around the man’s cock while the other held his hips. Minseok moved his hand on Jongdae’s cock along with his thrusts, holding back his own orgasm as he felt Jongdae clench around him.

“Come for me, Dae. You can do it, baby,” Minseok said encouragingly.

Jongdae let out a strangled moan, his back arching off the bed, as his orgasm took over his senses. Strings of come painting the young man’s stomach, some of it landing on Minseok’s fist.The elder pumped Jongdae’s cock until the man whimpered in oversensitiveness.

Minseok hovered above Jongdae and gathered the younger’s pliant body into his arms. He pressed his lips against Jongdae’s hair, his eyes closed, little moans escaping past his lips. He could already feel the all too familiar heat bubbling at the pit of his stomach. His thrusts turned snappy, completely forgetting about his rhythm earlier, way too eager to chase his own finish.

Minseok could feel Jongdae rub his back in such a soothing way almost causing him to sob but was stopped short when he finally came inside the condom. He moved his hips sluggishly, riding out his orgasm. Minseok trailed his lips from Jongdae’s neck to his face until he found the man’s lips, claiming it in a deep and passionate kiss. The elder was reminded of the bitter reality when Jongdae was the first to pull back, turning his head to the side then shutting his eyes to get some sleep.

Minseok swallowed the lump forming in his throat willing himself not to cry. He pulled his now flaccid cock out with a low groan. He removed the condom and tied it. He stood up, picked his abandoned underwear from the ground to put it on and went to the en suite, throwing the used condom on the trash bin. He grabbed small towel from one of the cabinets and ran it under warm water. He headed out then sat beside Jongdae’s sleeping figure. He used the wet cloth to clean up the man’s stomach as well as his entrance. He padded back to the bathroom to toss the dirty towel on the hamper only to come back out. Minseok removed the stained bed sheet, not wanting to leave Jongdae sleeping on it. He snatched a clean underwear from his drawer and carefully put it on the younger. He made sure to do all these quietly and as gently as he could to not wake the man up. To finish off, he covered Jongdae’s half-naked body with the comforter.

Now assured that Jongdae’s comfortable, he was about to leave and take a quick shower when his eyes caught Jongdae’s peaceful state. Staring at the young man’s face, free from any worries now that he’s asleep, brought a bitter smile on Minseok’s face. Thinking about the possibility of this moment being the last time he would see Jongdae, he couldn’t help but let the tears welling up in his eyes slide down his face. With a shaky breath, he wiped his tears away. He leaned down to press a kiss on Jongdae’s forehead, letting his lips linger there for a while. Just before he could start crying again, Minseok left Jongdae and went to the bathroom.

\--

True enough, Minseok never did see Jongdae after that night. He woke up without the young man by his side. Jongdae’s clothes gone, not even a note was left. He’s just…gone. Minseok waited for Jongdae to text him all day. Constantly checking his phone for any messages but he received nothing. Not wanting to be insensitive, Minseok stayed put and never sought out for the younger. He didn’t bugged him with messages nor phone calls. He didn’t go to Jongdae’s apartment or workplace. He just waited patiently thinking that the man’s probably just in shock.

However, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months until Minseok didn’t notice that the season has grown colder. The first snow fell on the streets of Seoul and it was then that realization dawned to Minseok that it has been almost 4 months since he last saw or spoke to Jongdae. The elder thought that perhaps it’s time for him to come to Jongdae already.

Which was why he was standing outside the cafe that Jongdae was working in. He debated with himself whether he should come in or not but he thought it best to stay away. He didn’t want Jongdae to react violently at him, just in case. It’d be less painful this way as well.

Minseok reached inside his pocket to take out his phone. He pressed the speed dial for Jongdae’s number and pressed the device against his ear. He followed Jongdae’s figure and silently prayed for the man to pick up. He saw the younger ask one of his co-workers to take over the counter for a while. Jongdae answered his phone without looking at the caller I.D.

“Jongdae-ah,” Minseok muttered.

Jongdae froze, his brows now furrowed and Minseok could only press his lips together.

“It’s Minseok hyung,” the elder continued, “I…we haven’t talked for so long.”

Minseok received no reply but Jongdae hasn’t ended their call yet and he took that as a good sign.

“I miss you, Dae,” Minseok spoke with a small chuckle but his voice cracked, “Can we-can we meet up? Please?”

“Why?” asked Jongdae simply, coldly.

Minseok breathed in sharply, it’s been so long since he last heard the younger’s voice and even though it sounded so emotionless, it still gave his stomach butterflies.

“We need to talk. I have to see you,” Minseok admitted, tears now threatening to fall.

He heard Jongdae sigh, “There’s nothing to talk about. It was a mistake. Please don’t call me again.”

Minseok panicked at what Jongdae said. This couldn’t be happening.

“No, wait!” Minseok called before Jongdae could end the call, “Dae, I-I love you.”

He was met with silence and he almost thought that Jongdae already ended the call if only he couldn’t see that the man was still listening to him. So, he repeated what he said, this time with more confidence.

“I love you, Dae. I always have,”

With that out of his chest, Minseok held his breath. Despite knowing deep inside that his feelings wouldn’t be returned, he still wished, he still waited.

“I don’t. I never did. Goodbye, Minseok,” Jongdae answered before the line went dead.

Minseok gazed at Jongdae moving around the shop for a minute before walking away. He could feel his knees growing weaker until he couldn’t walk anymore that he collapsed at a nearby tree, some of the passersby looking at him but he couldn’t care less. It was then that Minseok felt his whole world crashing down on him. Everything feels painful, too painful. Like someone is squeezing his heart. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t even speak. All he could do was sob and let the tears fall freely down his face. Not even the biting cold could compare to what he was feeling at the time.

He knew this would happen. He knew that Jongdae never loved him that way but he was foolish enough to think that maybe, just maybe, Jongdae would realize his feelings for him. He was too stupid to think otherwise. He got his hopes up for nothing and now he’s here, heart too broken that even he himself knew that no one could ever fix it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It has been so long since I last wrote something EXO related and I'm actually quite happy and relieved that I was able to finish this instead of letting it rot in my drafts. This was a little idea that I had a week after Xiumin's enlistment date was announced and I am now posting it a day after he enlisted lol
> 
> I hope you all liked it. Sorry for any mistakes and I promise to bring more EXO fanfics onto your way! Check me out on twitter! I am @//avocadraco . I post prompts there and such hehe bye!


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